Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Who's in charge here? Wait, I am?

I feel tired. Not surprisingly consider the amount of work I have this week as well as my inability to go to bed at a reasonable time in most cases. Tonight (Wednesday night) is the only night I have free. Ok, technically I have Friday night free, but that's usually Game Night and I canceled last week and feel bad about canceling again. I wish Game Night was at a local gaming store and there was a group of people that regularly attended so I wouldn't feel so bad about not going every once in a while.

Really it seems like lately anytime I want something to happen, it's up to me to take charge and be the person who works out all the details and shoulders most of the responsibility. I understand that someone has to, but it can get a little tiring. There's game night, there's D&D, there's various parties, there's house repairs. These are things I want to do, but I want to be the guest person. The one who gets invited and can show up and have fun. I don't want to have to be the one inviting everyone and working out timing issues and locations and activities and yadda, yadda, yadda. I know, I know, if I want to do these things the only way to make sure it happens is to actually set it up myself.

I mean, I like playing board games. I have games I haven't played yet (though not that many anymore). Unfortunately, there's no local game store/club where people can get together and play games, so I started up game night to play with my friends. But that makes it my responsibility and I know that some of my friends enjoy getting together and playing games as well. The problem is that every once in a while I don't feel up to having a game night (like say I've been working 60 hours all week), but I feel obligated to do it for the sake of others.

I enjoying playing RPG's. Dungeons and Dragons came out with a 4th Edition and I wanted to try it out. The friends I used to roleplay with still lived in the cities and I was inconsiderate of Emily and came home late a few nights, making her less than happy to see me drive up to the cities to play with them. Plus they got addicted to World of Warcraft. If I wanted to play D&D, I would need to get a group together and be the DM. Don't get me wrong, I have enjoyed DM'ing, but it requires a lot more work beforehand than just being a player. It also requires more during play as well. Maybe I would enjoy it more if I had created the adventure myself instead of going off of a module, but I've only just started DM'ing and I haven't played in a whole lot of games either, so I don't have much faith in my skills to do that, but that's a whole different issue. I would love to just play in a game, immerse myself into a single character instead of 100's of them.

Emily helps out quite a bit, and I love her for it. It's awesome to have a wife who wants to see me happy and helps as much as she can. But it still leaves the stuff up to me and she's not as excited about it as I am, so she has no interest in taking the lead on any this stuff.

I don't know, maybe I'll feel better after this vacation and once I've caught up on sleep.

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